US/England first half musings

And 188 days later, it's finally here. Things are about to get extremely real. Time for some stream of consciousness:

• How in the hell has this not been dubbed the Revolutionary War v2.0? You're welcome.
• At least 3/4 of the US players looked like they were going to weep like wee schoolboys during the national anthem. Sorry US national team, you've missed the train. Crying for your country is old news.
  
• If you don't like the blue US jerseys, you're unamurrican. Seriously.
• GOAL: REDCOATS 1-0 FREEDOM LOVERS Gerrard gets loose behind the D for an easy tally in the 4th minute. We look almost as apathetic as Alexi Lalas characterized the entire country of France to be. I've only had one Coors so far, so we'll leave the cussing for later.
• Michael Phelps... I'm sorry, Tim Howard, already looks about as agitated as a cat in a bathtub. He also looks like a creamsicle.
• Blown chance in the box for the US in the 14th minute. That may or may not be what she said. Regardless, I'll take it.
• And the Most Animated Human Alive Award goes to England coach Fabio Capello. He, even more than Maradona, looks like he's never watched a soccer game before. I sure hope he used the restroom before the game. A nice bonus: he looks great in a Speedo.
• Tim Howard injured coming off his line to clear a dangerous ball. Not good. If he goes off, the 4 beers I have left won't be nearly enough. Nothin like some full speed metal cleats to the chest. (Edit: T-Phelps stays in. Added bonus: blood is hard to see on an orange jersey.)
• I've held my tongue long enough. Why is ABC/ESPN/Disney/the world convinced that soccer fans want to see the reaction of every single individual to every single event in triple super duper slow mo? I don't remember requesting this.
• About 10 minutes left in the half, great shot by Donovan misses just wide. US looking much better now, but still clearly the lesser side.
• GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL DEMPSEY (40'): AMURRICA 1-1 TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION Solid strike by Dempsey from the top of the 18 leads to one of the most pathetic goaltending moments in football history. The slow-mo reactions to this one are priceless. Beckham, in particular, looks like he just bit into a turd sandwich. Solid shot, but that goal was softer than Al Roker pre-gastric bypass.
• HALF Great response by the Bald Eagles. Expect the conspiracy charges against the English keeper to be levied well before halftime is over.