US/Algeria: First Half

So I heard that this game might be kind of important. Go figure. Here we go:

• With inspiration from my roommate, I think there's no excuse for the US team not releasing a series of charity beverages called 'Juicy Altidore.' Clintaloupe. Buddleberry. I'd buy it.
• Stars and Stripes starting a back 4 that's never started together. I think Bradley is being paid off by ESPN to engineer situations in which we have no choice to come back.
• Algeria's national anthem sounds like an epic ice cream truck.
  
• Note to Algerian national anthem writers: maybe next time write one that at least some proportion of your population can hit the high note. Prepubescent voice cracking just doesn't seem especially inspiring to me.
• Algeria gets behind the defense in the 6TH MINUTE and drills one off the crossbar. Well, good thing we usually start fast and don't give up goals, or else I'd be worried. Bob Bradley looks like he might need to change windpant.
• Good to know that frosted tips are still popular somewhere. Algeria, welcome to 2001. We've missed you.
  
• GOOOOOOOOOOOOA.... oh wait. US puts one in the back of the net but its called off for offsides. Even Bill Clinton looks solemn. That's bad.
• Replays show it wasn't even offsides. Excellent. Even the unnecessarily proper British announcer agrees. That's grounds for reversal of the call alone. To add a little mustard to this shit sandwich, the Redcoats just scored.
• Dempsey gets one in front of the keeper in the 35th minute and can't put it away.
• ALTIDORE MISSES THE OPEN NET. Juice contract revoked.
• HALF Need to score to advance. I'm no longer feeling quite as humorous.